Be an authentic, conscious mum

Parenting

How To Treat Mom Competition – Do What You Feel Is Best For Your Children And You

I think women are always in a competition with each other. They always must do something, and the continuation of this “always doing something” is the mom competition. I have never met a competition as ferocious as motherhood. Of course, the media and the society we live in also suggest we should do everything perfectly. You are a good mother if you do several things, and you can demonstrate these. Bonding

But since I became a mother myself, I have experienced that fellow mothers can be very toxic with each other and frustrate each other. If I hear “My little one sleeps through the night”, “My little one plays with board games at the age of 9 month” I will run out of the world.

Children develop at their own pace

Children develop in their own time and style. Every baby is different from the moment he or she is conceived. We should trust in human development. Human bodies must unfold at their own pace. Of course, if you experience something very strange in their development, you need to turn to an expert.

We also went to a physiotherapist with our baby when we noticed she cannot turn her head to left. But I do not worry that my little one sometimes wants to drink water from her Tommy Tippee baby bottle sitting in my lap at the age of 22 months. She can drink from her essential free flow first cup too but sometimes she needs my physical closeness which is entirely acceptable and understandable for me.

Find your authentic voice as a mother

There isn’t a unique right way to parent. Motherhood isn’t easy, there are so many choices and none of us know what we are doing. I think we should parent according to our true authentic selves. It shouldn’t be about how we were parented or following the latest parenting trend. It should be about our own intuition about our child and what they need.

For me being a good mother is an invisible thing. It isn’t spectacular, I spend time with my little girl in real intimacy. We mirror each other in an emphatic and affectionate atmosphere, and we develop together. I don’t post photos on Facebook every day I don’t do a big thing from it. I believe that parenting is a relationship in which children can teach their parents too.

When motherhood becomes a competition, everyone loses

Mom competition can cause mental health problems for mothers. The pressure to be perfect could be a huge a stress in a mother’s life. If a mother thinks other mothers do things in a better way than she does, she wants to show she does well too. She doesn’t want to admit that she is struggling, and she suffers in silence.

Children lose in this competition too. When a mother is very competitive, she often wants to prove she is better than other mothers. She uses her children for this. This affects the children’ self-esteem very negatively. I often heard from my mother “what will people think about me in the village?”

Mom competition is not the fellow mother’s fault

I wouldn’t say that it is my fellow mothers’ fault. We need to parent in a culture where there are many requirements. It is impossible to do everything right. It is natural that mothers start to compete with each other. You should be very brave to show yourself vulnerable.

What one mother does isn’t about you or me

When we see what other mothers do, we shouldn’t turn it into an attack on our own performance. When a mother shares something on Facebook, she doesn’t necessarily wants to show that she is a good mother or a better mother than others. It is the easiest way to letting her relatives and friends know about how the children are doing.

A woman who prepares a sugar free pancake for her children and put some pictures of it out on social media sites doesn’t want to show you she is better in feeding her children than you. Maybe there are diabetic people in her family, and she wants to feed her children avoiding sugar. Don’t feel you are a bad mother if you give cookies to your children. Move on.

Moms should support each other

Instead of competing mothers should support each other. The first step for this should be honesty and admitting we all are struggling, and we all are vulnerable. We all get stuck in our mother’s life when we need other’s help and support. I am sure there are numerous women who are feeling the same.

If you could, join a mothers’ support group where mothers are supportive, and you can talk about your problems or your success hastily. Everybody needs a non-judgmental environment where she doesn’t get unsolicited advice. Everybody is looking for some validation which is normal. Mothers should build up each other and nurture each other.

Supportive mothers

Do What You Feel Is Best For Your Children and You

I truly believe in peaceful parenting which aims the needs of both the parent and the child. I think parenting should be about loving unconditionally and creating your amazing life together with your child. We should seek to find a new way through bravery, introspection and self-awareness. We should look within for the answers and solutions primarily, not externally. We should have the answers we are searching for.

 

 

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